Media Marriage

I’m feeling marriage-minded today. I have no impending nuptials … and, if I did, it would come as quite a shock to my husband, I’m sure. I’ve just seen and heard a lot of marriage-related discussion in a short period of time and it’s got me to thinking about the perceptions of that institution. To say the least, times have changed. I was feeling a little nauseous the other day. Morning sickness being out of the question, what got me going was the news that another mindless reality show is set to hit the airwaves. This one is going to bring Britney Spears and “Federline Yo!” (sorry, can’t use “Kevin” ever since I watched Ashton Kutcher’s impression of him on SNL) into people’s living rooms. Evidently, Nick and Jessica didn’t numb us quite enough. Now, the TV powers-that-be have decided we need to know every glorious detail of “BritneYo!” Hey! Sounds like a breakfast cereal, doesn’t it? I bet that wouldn’t be good for us either. I digress… How could there possibly be a more loving portrayal of relationships, marriage and commitment than choosing a woman who married a childhood sweetheart on a lark in Vegas, had the wedding annulled hours later, went on to call it a cry for attention from her family, took up with another man who was already in a relationship, with a young child and a baby on the way, and who (if we can believe the media hype) gets his jollies from his own Vegas partying, on her dime? I mean, hell, if that ain’t on par with “Father Knows Best” or “Leave it Beaver” then I don’t know what is. I can hardly wait for my daughters to start taking notes. Besides BritneYo!, we’ve got Prince Charles and the “forever branded as horsey” Camilla Parker Bowles. Poor things. After years of a not-so-secret love affair, they finally make their inevitable leap, directly into the public’s collective face, declare their love and intention to make it legal and what happens? They are upstaged by the death of a beloved Pope. HELLO? Can we say OMEN, people?! I’ve heard many people say they don’t even want to try walking on the marriage limb. “I’m never getting married” is no longer the depression-laced cry of a chick jilted at the altar. It’s commonplace. People find no need or value in a wedding. Weddings are just things that little girls dream about while they still believe Prince Charming will come and sweep them off their feet, right? Part of me totally understands it. Have you seen that other glorious TV show called “Cheaters”? Now, there’s a solid testament to people’s fidelity if I’ve ever seen one. I love how everyone that gets caught cheating has the nerve to screech at their accuser, “I can’t believe you did this to me!” Oh, I’m sorry - I’ve been out working two jobs to put you in clothing, out of debt, under shelter and through school and you see fit to thank me by bangin’ a broad whose idea of a promotion is getting a street corner with a mailbox to lean on. How could I be so insensitive. Then, there’s “that” website. You know the one I mean. They provide space for people who are already in a relationship to find “something more.” Always good to know that anyone that starts feelin’ a little froggy has somewhere to jump. It disgusts me. When did it become majority rule to have your cake and eat it too? I am married. For the second time… and I’m intensely happy. Surprised? Why’s that? Because the first time didn’t turn me into a whimpering pile of rejected, man-hating goo, drowning in legal bills, never to rise up and look human nature in the face again? Yeah. Sure. Damn legal bills aside, that sounds JUST like me. [end sarcasm here] The thing is, I believe in marriage. I believe in commitment. I believe that I can love someone to the exclusion of all others. I also believe that real life is hard. But see, there’s the catch – REAL life. You work at it. Sometimes you struggle, sometimes you coast. If you’re lucky, you find someone to come along for the ride and you stick together, no matter how big the speed bumps or how deep the potholes. Trust me… BritneyYo! won’t be pimpin’ THAT ride on “reality” TV.