Nominee!
Best Blog, Best
Personal Blog &
Best Family Blog
Canadian Blog Awards


Blog Of The Day Awards Winner


Finalist!
Best Canadian Blog


Nominee!
Best New &
Best Humour Blog



Published at
ParentingHumor.com


Parent's Home Office



Tell a friend:



If you are linking to "Thoughts2Page" on your website, please feel free to copy and use this button:



My Photo
Name:
Location: Quebec, Canada

Elaine's writing has finally tumbled into cyberspace! After writing content under the radar for other websites, she is coming clean and tagging her opinions, humor and sarcasm with her own name.

If you like what you read (or even if you don't), Elaine would love to hear from you. Click on the "Comments" link at the end of any entry or email her and put your own "thoughts2page"! If you really like what you read, be sure to tell a friend!

Email Feedback!
"Love your stuff! ... your comments are spot on"...DB, Canada

"...thoroughly enjoyed your comments and very honest outlook on life. Very well done, keep up the good work."...KS, UK

"Your stuff just gets better and better!" ...JH, USA

"I Love this! I don't think I can get enough of your writing. I like your style!"...SS, USA

"Great - now the people at my new job think I'm the village idiot who sits at her desk in the morning and laughs - ALONE!" ...DH, Canada


Powered by Blogger

Site Feed

Creative Commons Licence

Blogarama - The Blog Directory

blog search directory

Listed on BlogsCanada


Humor & fun cool stuff

Flookie Blog Search

Blog Directory & Search engine

Blog-Sweet

FindingBlog - Blog Directory

Monday, September 25, 2006

See your future in tea... sandwiches??

Can you laugh at yourself?

Be honest now. I’m not talking about a little snort of self-deprecation here. I’m talking about a full-on, no-holds-barred belly laugh… the kind which tells the world, “Yes, I’m a total jackass and I’m fine with that!”

I was never able to do it. See, I’ve always had terrible self-esteem. Not something I’m proud to say - but it’s true. So, to compensate for it, I decided that I had no choice but to be perfect. Let me tell you… life as a perfectionist SUCKS. It’s not fun… and certainly NOT funny. If I made a mistake, I was mortified. People would think less of me! They’d think I was just plain stupid! They would realize I wasn’t perfect, dammit! That, in itself, was unacceptable.

Even now, from time to time, I let my pride get the best of me and if, horror of horrors, I make a mistake, I’ll try to cover it and hope that no one’s the wiser. But then, I’ll do something that is just so ridiculous… so absolutely silly… so utterly boneheaded… that I have no choice but to laugh!

The other morning, ‘round about 3 AM, I was standing in the kitchen making lunches. Yes, you read that right – I make lunches at 3 AM. That should qualify me for some sort of official “You Are Stupid Award” right there… but anyway… While my husband was getting ready for his early morning shift at work, I carefully prepared his sandwich, along with one for each of the girls. Since I’m such a perfectionist and overachiever… ahem… I’m able to kill THREE birds with one stone. I have a specific way of doing things – a weightier lunch for him, less for the girls. For the youngest one, I’ll often take the time to cut her sandwich in four little sections, like tea sandwiches, just because she likes it that way and she seems to eat better when I do. Then I go along, divvying up granola bars, cheese, veggies and dip, fruit, until I have everyone’s lunches portioned out. All the girls’ things go back in the fridge until it’s time to fill their lunch bags around 6:30. I pack my husband’s into a cooler bag and he’s out the door.

Then I promptly head back to bed, where I am generally sound asleep before my head, and several other body parts, hit the mattress.

That particular morning, everything had gone according to schedule. Or so I thought. At 6:30, I began filling lunch bags. Picking up a sandwich container, I started to pack the older daughter’s lunch first. After all, the sandwich was only cut in half, so that made it hers. Then, I moved on to her sister’s lunch… I picked up what I believed would be her sandwich container … but that sandwich, too, was cut in half. Where were the four little pieces???

Thinking I had somehow given them to her sister by mistake, I unpacked the first lunch and checked. NOPE! One sandwich yet, stubbornly, only two halves. In my as-yet-uncaffeinated stupor, I stood there trying to decide if (A) a sandwich could somehow reassemble itself whilst refrigerated or (B) if the 3AM alarm hadn’t gone off yet and this was all one of those dreams… you know, like the kind where you’re out in public in your underwear?

Then it hit me. I realized what I had done. Within the hour, my husband was going to be sitting in the break area, all the other guys with their “heavy-duty, titanium, impenetrable by crushing force nor raygun” lunch boxes… and he was going to open his sandwich – cut in four little sections, like tea sandwiches.

I felt the all-too-familiar lump in the pit of my stomach. The absolute panic of knowing I had made a mistake… and then… I felt something new. A gurgling, if you will. A sort of stirring that was making its way from the tips of my toes, all the way to the back of my throat. Then, the unthinkable happened…

Out spewed a full-on, no-holds-barred belly laugh!!!!!!!!!

When the convulsing and tears pouring down my face finally stopped, I poured myself that very-much-needed cup of coffee and, leaning against the kitchen counter, I accepted an invigorating and quite healthy dose of reality:

Yep! I was a total jackass… and you know what?

I’m fine with that! :)

Comments on "See your future in tea... sandwiches??"

 

post a comment

Google