Channel Surfing

If you’re at all familiar with my writing, you’ve read about my Mom. She passed away in November 2004 and life since then has never been quite the same. Everyone knows that you go on… you just do it differently somehow. Since losing both of my parents, I have to admit that I have wondered a lot about psychics, seers, clairvoyants, mediums… any and all who proclaim to have the ability to communicate with “the other side.” I stop and watch the TV shows, from time to time, and I’m never sure whether to be impressed or to sniff haughtily at the “believers.” Each time, as I change the channel, I realize that a part of me really wants to believe. Then, I remember that most of my parts would be SCARED SENSELESS at seeing, hearing or being contacted in any way by someone who has “crossed over.” Hell, I can’t even watch a scary movie! So, I’d like you to imagine how I felt when, upon returning home from a new friend’s house the other night, my younger daughter told me she had something she had to tell me. Let me preface this by saying that I’m always leery of sending my kids off to the homes of people that I don’t know or have never met. We’ve had some… experiences… with this in the past. For example, Daughter #1 was invited to visit a school friend and spent an entire day being told how she needed to attend church on a regular basis. She was made to sit attentively and listen to the father playing hymns on the piano. She came home, utterly confused, bearing the gift of a rather funky beaded cross. You know what? I have no issues with anyone’s beliefs… just please don’t force them on my child under the guise of inviting her over for fun and pizza! Then, on a lighter note, there was the time that Daughter #2 was invited to spend the night at a house that ended up being so dirty, she wouldn’t even place her toiletries bag on their bathroom counter – not to mention that, when having to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, she nearly had a heart attack when she stepped on something small and FURRY in the hallway. After several minutes of serious, body-shaking heebie-jeebies, she put on the bathroom light and glanced back to see a cat toy on the floor. Well, she tells herself it was a cat toy, anyway. So, given our history, I braced myself for what my daughter had to say. Apparently, at dinner, the topic of discussion had been small dogs. My daughter mentioned that her Grandma had owned a runt-of-the-litter Shih-Tzu that weighed maybe five pounds soaking wet. The conversation continued, uninterrupted, until dinner was over. At that point, my daughter and her friend went off to the girl’s bedroom to play on the computer. While in there, her mother appeared at the door. Here is the conversation that took place: Mother: Who do you know named Helen… or Elaine? My Daughter: Elaine is my Mom. Mother: Oh ok! So then who is Doris? My Daughter (becoming bewildered): Ummm… Doris was my Grandma. Mother: Well, Doris has a message for Elaine. She says to tell her that she is fine and everything is ok. My Daughter (stunned and slightly weirded-out): Ok… ummm… I…. I’ll give her the message. As if this wasn’t sufficiently freaky, the mother returned a little while later, having “read the tarot cards.” She told my daughter that her Grandma was always around the family and “she’s always supportive of everything you do.” Oh – and she said we should pray. Well, not “pray” in the sense that I interpret the word but, basically, speak to Doris since she’s around (I’m sorry but this is taking the motherly “You never call!!” to extremes!). She also said that, by speaking about her Grandma at the dinner table, my daughter “let her in” so the mother could receive her message. ALLLLLLLLLL RIGHTY THEN! Picture me, having gone from comfortably prone to bolt upright on the couch, apparently trying to determine if I could physically open my eyes any wider. I half-expected my daughter to extend her hands to catch my falling eyeballs. WHAT was I supposed to say to this?? Well, the skeptic in me answered first. Naturally. I said, “Has this woman seen your website?” For those of you who don’t know, my daughter recently decided to make it her goal to raise funds for cancer research… and she is doing it in the name of her Grandma. She calls her project “DorisDollars.” So, I figured this mother had seen her website. Then I realized – even if she HAD, my name isn’t on there. Anywhere. I asked, “Has she seen the school newspaper???” because my daughter was interviewed about “DorisDollars” for the current issue. She said, “No Mom… mine was an advanced copy. Everyone else gets them next week.” She proceeded to tell me that she asked her friend about it all and was told, “Oh… don’t worry about it… this happens all the time around here. My mom is a channeler. She even predicted one time that someone was going to die – and they did.” SUPER DUPER! I’ve had some time to think about it, since that initial returning home. As strange as it seems, I do think it’s pretty neat. I mean, what if… just by some small chance… it was true? My Mom, more than anyone, would know that I’d be terrified if she tried to “give me a message” directly! She had a lot of “feelings” and premonitions in her day – and most of them materialized. I always told her to keep them to herself, not because I wasn’t interested, but mostly because I was scared! My mind keeps itself busy processing the present… I’ll deal with the future when it gets to me. So, now, I’m left wondering and waiting and watching over my shoulder. I don’t think I’ll change this channel though… because part of me really wants to believe.