Earning Sincerity Points

Well, it’s here again. That day of the year that people find so abysmal… so depressing… so deplorable that they just can’t get out of bed to face it. No, no! NOT tax time… that ugly S.O.B. is still lurking in the shadows. I’m talking about Valentine’s Day. I recently read an article that labels January 24 as the “worst day of the year.” It seems that is the day that folks are the most down over things like holiday credit card debt, broken New Year’s resolutions and even the weather. So, to combat this seasonal slump, we have Valentine’s Day – a day that now dictates we spend too much money (on those same maxed-out credit cards?), eat chocolate (didn’t we resolve to lose some weight this year?) – and we plunk this delightful holiday in the middle of FEBRUARY which is, for many of us, the black hole of winter hell. What are we thinking? It’s not bad enough that we actually have a day that stands up and gives the finger to anyone who isn’t in a hearts and flowers kind of relationship. Someone decided that those of us who ARE happily attached should feel obligated to flaunt it on a specific day of the year. Why’s that again? If you look up the history of Valentine’s Day, a lot of websites will describe it as murky, at best. Most will tie it to the writing of a letter from a Catholic bishop to the daughter of his jailer, with whom he had fallen in love, and he signed it “from your Valentine.” From that simple gesture, we now have the red EXPLOSION that takes place in every department store across the continent exactly three minutes after we’ve put Christmas to bed. This year, I’m bucking tradition – and I’m taking my husband along for the ride. Yeee-hawww! I’m truly not a woman who expects to be lavished with “proof” of his love on February 14. A simple reminder is more than enough. So, I did the unthinkable. I decided (for both of us!) that we would make our own Valentines this year. [watches every guy out there roll his eyes] Oh come ON! It’s not THAT hard, fellas. It really means a lot to receive a card, a note – or, as I have been gifted in the past, a piece of badly-torn notebook paper – with an honest expression of how you really feel. Even if the best you can do is “Honey, you pack me the best sandwiches in my lunch everyday” or “Damn woman, you have the best tits this side o’ Texas,” there is always something you can say to your partner and TRULY mean it. Surprisingly, my husband was game for the idea. I guess until he realized he would actually have to follow through… then, he started stressing: “Um… are we allowed to print stuff off the Internet?” No. That would mean just copying, pasting and printing an ecard. Same “canned” sentiments. “Um… but I can’t draw.” Neither can I! I’m firmly in the camp of “stick people are a challenge.” “Um… but you’re a lot more artsy-craftsy than I am.” Right. But I’m only asking for a cardsy-wardsy – not the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. I fully realize that you are much more “Michelob” than “Michelangelo.” So, as it stands, I’ve done the outside of my card. I’m still mulling over what I’ll write inside… whatever it is, it will be sincere. That’s all that matters… … well, THAT, and remembering where the hell I hid those “fruit roll-ups.” All I need now is a pair of scissors to get started on the homemade edible undies. I’ll show HIM “artsy-craftsy”… Yeee-hawww!