Put things in perspective, people!

Now that the some of the kafuffle has died down over the Britney Spears/Kevin Federline divorce announcement, I feel more able to type those names and get on with the business of having an opinion. Back in early 2005, I wrote a column called Media Marriage and part of it included my distaste… uh… disapproval… dislike? … oh hell, my GUT-WRENCING HATRED for the portrayal of marriage in the fabricated world of “celebrity.” Whew. That feels better. At the time, the Britster and Fed-Ex were about to appear on TV in their “reality” show called “Britney and Kevin: Chaotic.” Reality, my ass. Jump forward a couple of years and SURPRISE! The marriage is toast. The only sympathy I feel in this situation is directed at the progeny. Two boys, who by all accounts are cute, sweet little guys, are now going to grow up in a world of “theoretically” jumping around between parents. I say “theoretically” because I’ve never been convinced about the devotion of Fed-Ex to being a parent. I actually can’t believe he IS a parent. Who has the time, what with frequent partying in Vegas and trying to promote a tour where they have to give away tickets to get anyone to attend the shows? This, of course, assumes the media reports the truth. Ahem. In any case, it would seem that Kevin can neither rap nor WRAP – because the only thing he is successfully cranking out keeps resulting in more kids. All criticisms aside, what really got to me was something I read recently on a message board. The poster remarked that she felt sorry for Britney Spears because she was now a single mother. HOLD THE FRIGGIN’ PHONE. She feels sorry for WHAT exactly? That Britney will still be worth scads of millions of dollars, even after she pays off the sponge in the divorce settlement? That she has, and will continue to have, the capacity to raise her children in a lifestyle that most of us can never even fathom? That she has the good fortune to be able to obtain the best help, if she needs it, to ensure that her children remain happy, healthy and as well-adjusted as possible, under the circumstances? Yeah. She has my sympathy. Look. I realize I have no right to make assumptions about people that I don’t even know – celebrity or otherwise. But, I AM capable of writing about what I DO know. I know how to be a single mom. I was one. For five years, actually. I have the utmost respect for single parents. It is damn hard to fill alone what most people consider to be a team role. Depending on the day, it can be frustrating, sad, demoralizing, lonely or blissfully happy. You just never know. I realize that most of those feelings relate to parenting in general but, as a couple, you tend to have someone under the same roof who is willing to commiserate with you… or at least to eat junk food and bitch. I spent some time thinking back on my own experiences and, in all honesty, I don’t think that Britney will have to…. …face the tears of two beautiful kids who, at the ages of 9 and “almost 6” are old enough to hear but not to understand why Mommy and Daddy are suddenly telling them that they won’t all be living together anymore; …stand in a garage, fighting back tears, because she got the “crappy car” in the split and it has broken down yet again; …stare the holiday season in the face and wonder, after only being “re-employed” for three months, how the HELL she’s going to put presents under the tree; …drive an hour each way, fingers crossed behind the wheel of the “crappy car,” to pack up a two-storey, four-bedroom house alone, because her ex’s employer already sent in a moving company to pack and deliver his stuff – including the “better car” – across the country to his new life; …be caught in the middle of caring for a mother struck with cancer, who needs her, two growing daughters, who need her, and a job, that she needs more than anything, just to keep everything afloat. However, if she’s lucky, Britney will eventually get what I got. Two kids who are growing up and proving themselves to be intelligent, articulate and valuable citizens… and a husband that accepts us, baggage and all, and loves us unconditionally. Trust me. Ms. Spears will be JUST fine. So, she’ll be a single mom. I just can’t convince myself, no matter how hard I try, that it will be much of a struggle. In her absolute worse case scenario, she’ll learn the same lesson as the true single moms of this world… the REAL definition of “Chaotic.”