Good Business 101

One of the basic tenets of good business is treat your customers well and you’ll keep them for life. Well, in my opinion anyway. Someone needs to tell this to the chick that grooms my dog. RANT WARNING … cue the creepy music… reeet reeet reeet reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! Today’s entry will be much less about humor and much more about getting something off my chest. Our family has a darling, 10-year-old, Scottish Terrier/Bichon mix. He’s no pup anymore but, to watch him run and play, it’s obvious that no one has told HIM that. It’s the cutest thing to see him clocking laps around the backyard with the determination of an Olympic runner when, out of nowhere, he starts leaping like a deer. ‘Til he tires himself out and heads for water and a nap - age sneaks up on him a lot quicker these days. I can relate. This dog is truly a joy to own. He’s quiet, almost never barks and hardly even growls… unless you’re a cat, raccoon or a squirrel (he’s having none of THOSE in our yard). The neighbors on all sides adore him. It’s nice to own a pet that doesn’t compel those around you to screech out their windows at all hours - as I’ve been wont to do at the “squeaky toy masquerading as a dog” living in one of the houses behind us. Since a pet is part of the family, they naturally have the same requirements as any other member. They need food, shelter, medical care, fresh air and exercise, grooming – although I draw the line at clothing. He does have a little fleece-lined coat for the winter so he can go out and do his business with some degree of comfort. And, trust me, whether he knows it or not, I see him cast a furtive glance left and right before he trots out that door, just to make sure that none of the other neighborhood dogs are looking. He must have a rep to protect. In fact, he’s probably relieved that I bypassed the doggie booties. This brings me to the issue of the groomer. We’ve been taking him to the same place for a few years now. He generally gets shaved down in the spring and again in the fall. The Bichon part of him generates curly hair when it gets longer and the Scottie genes seem to give him too damn much facial hair. I don’t dig a beard on my human male and I’m even less inclined to want one on my canine male. Last week, the human male went to pick up the canine one and the groomer says “We need to talk.” Then, she proceeded to berate him, saying “If you bring him in like this again, we will refuse him.” EXCUSE ME?! Apparently, he had needed a bath and his hair was long. Well what the f$%& is the GROOMER for then? Is this woman unclear on the concept? She told my husband that we need to bring him in more often. Yeah… way to go Einstein… that’s JUST the way to encourage business. Threaten your customers and you’ll be sure to get a glowing recommendation. My husband told her that we don’t have him shaved through the winter because we feel he needs his coat for warmth (DUH!). The groomer countered with “if you have him shaved more often, he’d learn to adapt.” My husband called it a difference of opinion and left – probably thankful that I hadn’t been there to participate in the “discussion.” Now, here’s the thing. I didn’t catch wind of her offering to groom him for free. “For free,” we plunk him in the basement sink and wash him (with a shampoo recommended for his skin, purchased from the vet) and give him a brushing. We buy doggie eye wipes and doggie “breathsaver” cookies. Evidently, the groomer feels exclusively entitled to any and all money we spend on our dog. Well listen up, chica… we love our dog and he loves us. We do everything we can for him. I place “pet grooming” in our family’s budget where and when it fits. We’ve followed the same routine throughout his life and guess what? He’s still here and he’s as happy as ever. If we decide to “have him shaved more often,” trust me when I say another groomer will do it. You will have lost the income from another customer… but you’ll “learn to adapt.” Jeez! That little poodle on the table was apparently not the only bitch in the place.