Seeing is believing

I just read an article about Viagra. No, it wasn’t in my inbox along with the multitude of offers to super-size my penis. Given the volume of spam on that subject, I was really starting to be self-conscious. Until I remembered I don’t even HAVE a penis. I was even more thankful for that fact when I read that there are instances of male blindness possibly linked to Viagra and other such “woody wonder drugs.” BLINDNESS? That just seems like a huge risk for a hard-on. Viagra tends to be the butt of a lot of jokes. We’ve all heard about the painful, four-hour erections or seeing the world with a bluish tinge. Back in the day, boys were told that masturbation would lead to hairy palms and blindness. With the help of Viagra, I’d think that four hours of masturbation would guarantee any and all palm hair would be totally obliterated and that bluish tinge would likely be post-friction and pre-FLAME! Talk about watching sparks fly! I know, I know! THAT activity is not why men consume Viagra in the first place. Unfortunately, it seems that a good many women are beyond upset when their man comes home from the doctor with the ‘script. In fact, I’ve read a number of articles where women are ranting and raving at the intrusion of the so-called little blue miracle. Evidently, they already signed on for their permanent starring role on “Flaccidity Factor” and don’t find their teammate’s new “uprising” at all miraculous. I was taken aback that one woman had replaced sex with her crafts and other hobbies and she was furious that her husband wanted a share of her time for carnal activities. She felt it was a worthless pursuit and ridiculous “at their age.” What “age” is that, exactly? Dead?! I just got done telling my husband that, if I EVER say I’m “too old” for it, shoot me on sight for I will have evidently contracted rabies or some other brain-ravaging disease. Just a personal opinion. Many a man’s self-esteem is measured firmly in inches. When those inches aren’t firm, his “worth” as a man seems to shrivel in equal proportion. The fact that many women don’t seem the least bit bothered at having taken in hubby’s last performance is irrelevant. Even if he knows he ain’t gettin’ any, every man wants to feel that there’s still one good, solid, upstanding reason that he might. Ergo, the inclination to pop one so he can pop one. How sad that, if current media reports panned out to be true, a man dependent on Viagra and left alone to be the “master of his domain,” might discover the old wives’ tale “stop doing that right now, mister, or you’ll go blind!” is one step closer to the truth than we ever dared to believe. Gotta wonder if the June Cleaver’s of the world are rejoicing.