Goofy Googling

Happy New Year Everyone! Did you have a great celebration? If you’re here, you survived New Year’s Eve, so good on ya! We had fun in our house. We nibbled our way through a New Year’s Eve movie marathon with the kids. Sounds boring, I guess. Well, in some homes it might be – but we’re slightly less than traditional. The movie marathon included “American Pie I and II” and “The 40 Year Old Virgin.” Oh, stop it. Chins up off the floor now. As the 12 year old assured us, “For heaven’s sake, I hear worse stuff than this on the BUS!” While that’s not particularly comforting to me as a Mom (in fact, it’s downright ookie), we had fun. Mindless, predictable, non-cinematic-award-worthy fun… with alcohol (adults only – I’m not THAT openminded). Then, today, I came here to clean up a bit around the ol’ blog. You know… start fresh for the new year. I thought, “what better way to move forward than by first looking back?” I decided to take a look through some of the search terms that helped people to find Thoughts2Page in 2005. What an education. Evidently, I’m quite the hit with the Hooter Hunters! Jeez people… walk your dog, bake a cake, put on some music and dance. At least some of the time. THEN, come back here and google yourself some mammaries. For your amusement – and mine! – here are some of the avenues that lead to what I now have the impression is the cesspool in my head: “like big boobs cannot lie” (judging by these statistics, you are NOT alone!) “Quebec 40DD” (awww crap… so close) “mom makes 11 year old daughter lick her” (ACKKKK!!! what the HELL?!? How does this lead HERE? Oh wait… I had an “11 year old daughter” last year… never have I been SO grateful for birthdays!) “the song go ask alice by the who” (whoooooo are you? Who who who who? I really wanna knowwwwww!) “how to renovate my basement myself” (if I honestly knew, would I be paying so much damn money to contractors?!) “29 and holding” (that’s your hangup sweetheart, not mine… I’m solidly 41… nothing on the ‘net is going to help you stave off the aging process, no matter what the spam says) “Norman Chumley” (hey! He’s the “Joy of Weight Loss” guy I wrote about back in April 2005… sadly, I’m still not feelin’ the joy, Norm) “bad moon rising bathroom right” (wow… you have a harder time with those lyrics than I do!) “I like big boobs and I cannot lie” (that’s #2 and counting!) “oversized tshirt pool” (not sure if this is a quirky wet tshirt “thing” or the “weight loss at work” gals!) “I like big boobs and I cannot lie lyrics” (#’s 3, 4 and 5!) “40DD” (jeez… must be a popular size) “baby barf” (hrmmm… too much time spent on the 40DD’s, I’d say. Pregnancy sure does have its benefits, though!) “listen to larry the cable guys Christmas carols” (sorry… not Larry – but hope you found the link you needed! GIT-R-DONE!) “idiot renovations” (man, I really hope this isn’t my contractor!) “elaine bobbitt” (her name was Lorena, for crying out loud – I’d never throw anything that useful out of my car window!) “get r done Christmas carol” (wow… good year for Larry!) “santa comes but once each year” (I know… I lamented for the poor guy too) “elaine’s cleavage” (this is in there twice! Guess I needed a pay site instead of blogging for free!) “I like big boobs” (#6!) “rigor mortis penis” (I said LORENA! Someone find me her number!!) “pudding balloons” and “drag pudding balloons” (3 searches, different countries… people everywhere are skimping on silicone) “old Russian man grows penis on arm” (must be one of Lorena’s exes… I bet this guy has her number!) …and, last but not least, one of my favorites… “my butt jiggles when I walk”. Have you met the oversized tshirt pool? Meetings are Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at noon.